|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
Dangerous Relationship?
I will in this article cover some of my own experiences living with a person with a dysfunctional personal disorder of type borderline. I call these person BP (BorderlinePersonality) to make things easier. Why is it so hard to live with these people? What are the warning signals? What is there to do? At first this persons are very charming so it's very hard to detect these disturbances. I also want to state that each and every one of us has some kind of borderline in our selves. Most of us don't have it to such a degree though that it could be classified as an illness. Everything worked out fine for the first of couple of months and then suddenly BANG. The first emotional outbreak appears and you don't even know what hit you. I lived with a person like this for six years until I finally decided that enough is enough. We have two adorable children together that we both love more than anything on the world. The children have of course also suffered but I know that there are people out there in much worse situation others then mine. As a relative in a family with persons like this it can be hard and also embarrassing to take this up with somebody else since you have the feeling that no one really understands you. The last couple of years I was so deep in it that I truly believed that everything was my fault. Now, you know the saying "it takes two to tango" so I of course contributed to the situations and to the relationship. It did heart a lot finding out that I couldn't see this coming. So I had a big part of it naturally. One of the things these persons are an expert in doing is getting the partner to feel guilty about things even though this is not the case. Many relatives complain about the emotional and physical fights that they keep getting into with almost no way to protect them selves from it. Even though they know it's pointless to go into a fight like this it happens anyway. The most known sign of a borderline personality is their emotional emptiness. To be a relative is like filling up Grand Canyon with a water gun. The only difference is that Grand Canyon actually has an end. One other thing is "whatever you do is wrong". Do you recognize this? For a BP everything is either black or white there is no in-between. "You are either with me or against me" is also one of these statements you can hear. Ending a relationship with a borderline personality is hard it's like having a delicious pizza slice in front of you with lots of mozzarella cheese on it. No matter how far you try to take the slice from your mouth, the cheese "string" only gets longer and longer without braking. For you as a relative there is only one advice use knife and fork. As a relative be consequent at all times (this is very hard but it works). We all have a choice, mine was to simply get out of the relationship and move on. There are still moments of fights every now and then but I think since the relationship ended both of us and our children has gained a lot more than if we would have stayed together. There was of course times that where good in our relationship. Never knowing when the next outbreak would come took unfortunately away those moments. The first step for me to come out of this was actually to read and learn about BP. Maybe this article has the same impact on you, I sincerely hope so. I wish you all the best! Rate this article Oliver Troll
MORE RESOURCES:
Coffee - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
How Often do you Think About What you are Going to Say? How often do you think about what you are going to say prior to actually saying it? As a counselor, I have been trained to understand that working with Native Americans, there may be a quite a long pause before my client makes a response to something we are discussing.Native American children are taught through folklore, that they need to think carefully about the words they are going to use. Is There Romance In The Zodiac? Many people know that the zodiac is a circle in the sky which is charged with twelve distinct energy fields. Astrologers have called these energies "signs. A Womans World Women are simply wonderful don't you think? This question is not just aimed at us men but to women also! Throughout my life women have played a massive part in my upbringing from my Mother, my Aunts and to my very lovely and sadly missed Grandmother. These women have nurtured me and shown me what it takes to really be a man. The 100 Laws In any group of abused women there's almost always at least one who is extremely attractive; well groomed, well presented and the complete opposite of the kind of stereotypes that people normally harbour.At one domestic violence workshop, I met a stunning young woman. Love Advice: Let Fate Decide? One of the most commonly asked questions, What is Love? What is its exact definition? Well, there can never be a definite answer. Everyone got his or her own answer to it. The 7 Stages of a Romantic Relationship There are seven stages in a romantic relationship: avoidance, meeting, dating, breaking up, establishing exclusivity, commitment, and keeping the love you find. Each of these stages vary in length and intensity. How do We Change our Self Esteem Perception? Many of us have heard about the power of positive thinking to effect a change. The idea is not new, it stems from modern psychology as well as from ancient spiritual teachings. Relationship Advice: The Me Approach or the We Approach A husband and wife were doing a little redecorating and rearranging one weekend morning. They were having an especially hard time pushing a dresser through a hall way door. What Went Wrong? When Relationships Go From Hot To Cold Everything was great.We had been dating for 6 months. How to Spot a Cheater Is your man the cheating type? Here are some clues to help you find out if he is cheating. Please note that just because you feel your man is cheating, does not mean that he really is. Adultery as Sexual Addiction: Should You Stay Married? I outline 7 kinds of affairs in my E-book, "Break Free From the Affair." One affair, "I Can't Say NO!" is characterized by addictive tendencies. How to Ease the Pain of a Breakup Whether you do the dumping or you are the one who got dumped, breakups are painful. If you initiated the breakup you may feel guilty, or question that you made the right decision. Relationship Advice - 5 Sure Fire Ways to Mess Things Up 1) Stay committed to your "right to be right."Argue for your point of view, making sure you never entertain the possibility that your partner may have a valid point of view. The Three Levels of Soul Mates From my own personal experience of being involved in certain relationships, I have come to realize there are three different levels of Soul Mates. We discussed Soul Mates in a previous article of mine, 'Soul Mates - Do they really exists" now we should keep our eyes open and pay closer attention to our relationships, in order that we might recognize those soul mates. What Every Woman Should Know About Men and Romance Men and women think differently about romance.Men are goal-oriented. Passion or Purpose? I hate moderation. I hate doing things moderately. Women Are Not Aliens One of the very worst mistakes a man can make with a woman is to believe that she's an alien creature of some sort. By this I mean that it's a mistake to view women from the stance that they are an entirely different sort of being in every way possible. Shattered Visions Sometimes it takes a girlfriend in order to have a really good shopping trip. It takes having someone who knows you very well either urging you forward on a contemplated splurge--or holding you back before you plunge ahead on one she knows you'll live to regret. Engaged, In Love, and In Limbo Well, here I am very much in love and starting to plan my August wedding, when Murphy's Law sets in.I remember it as a full moon night. Soul Mate - a Pain in the Neck "and they lived happily ever after..
|
 |
 |
||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
|
|
|||||
| Pendle Writers .com © 2006 | |||||
