|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
Ridding Yourself Of Being A Manipulator To Better Your Relationships
One of the oldest character flaws in humans is their abilityto manipulate each other. Its insidious nature tilts oureveryday playing field toward the manipulator. Themanipulating person has a basic personality flaw that has adirect link to control, but primarily the ever-abundantinsecurity issue. So, how is it that we deal with these types of people tolevel the perverbial playing field? Well, for a moment, lets just consider the problematicissues that these types of people have so as to betterunderstand what approach to take. In being manipulative, one would only need to look at thewhy and what, not the how, because the how is obvious. How do they do it? They use words as their arsenal forcontrol. One should understand that manipulative people aregenerally control freaks who need to have the people theyattempt to control conform to their ideology. Byleveraging control over a particular situation, they satisfythe craving to fill that void of not having personal control,therefore obtaining it from another person. It is quite obvious that always trying to tilt the scales foryourself by being manipulative reflects a security problem inyourself. It's simple! If you do not feel secure withyourself, than you are insecure. Ah...but to what degreeyou may ask, do you have to be so insecure that you alwaysattempt to obtain control and security elsewhere? Insecurities are in us all. We all feel vulnerable at times inany given situation, but what would propel us to be soinsecure that we need to control others in our environment? This question could be answered differently for almostevery manipulative person because what drives us tomanipulate might be extremely deep-seated in one, where inanother it is seated quite shallow. Most people have heard in one place or another; you canonly control certain things in life, and much of the otherstuff you need to just let the chips fall where they may. This is very true. Let's just look at one simple example toconceptualize. You have five one hundred dollar bills youhave alloted yourself to use in attempts to make moremoney, so you head for the closest casino. Now, blackjack is your game of choice, so let me illustrateyour possible control. You could, when the dealer asks youto cut the cards, place the divider at the very end, thinkingthis will stack the hands in your favor. You could changetables because one dealer is what you would call bad luck. The fact is that once you put your money down, you losecontrol of the situation. The dealer will deal you a winning or losing hand and yousimply have no control over the situation, yet you might tryto seize control by many illogical means in attempts to win. By not attempting to control everyone else, you come to anunderstanding that letting people live their lives in peacewithout your controlling ways, is the healthiest way ingoing about your relationships. Others will detect a distinct difference in your personalityand certainly appreciate you, rather than resent your ill will. This is, again, a change in approach and attitude towardsothers that will need to be worked on everyday. In addition,one should want and need to see progression everyday toconfirm the diminishing of this toxic characteristic. Let go of your need to always control and manipulate, itwill definitely become a more harmonious existence, notonly for others, but for yourself. by Brian Maloney-ValuePrep.com Want to improve your personal values? Get high-quality relationship advice for guys and women from a 'Logical' standpoint. Visit ValuePrep - Relationship Advice. **Attn Ezine editors / Site Owners**
MORE RESOURCES:
Coffee - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Relationship Conflict: The 3 Cs of Resolving Conflict "And they lived happily ever after.. Travel to Find a Russian Bride Do you agree that the best lessons are lessons given to you by other people who have already made some mistakes so that you wouldn't repeat them? We are going to have a detailed observation of a certain man's trip. When coming to Russia he managed to make a lot of mistakes and he can hardly calm down with the idea of getting wiser and more experienced. Yellow and Orange Flags in Relationships It's been said that love is blind. It may also be deaf and dumb, but in this article I'll deal with the onset of blindness that occurs at the beginning of a relationship. Like Father Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 5, 2004I was married for 21 years to a man who enjoyed strip clubs, drinking, and his buddies. These things became important to him after we married, and part of his job as an undercover cop. Ending a Relationship Gracefully Ending a relationship is never easy. When you feel you must end a relationship most people find it challenging as they have feelings towards their partner and do not wish to hurt them. Relationship Arguments - 7 Ways to Heal Past Hurts Q: I've read that you are never supposed to bring up the past in a relationship, especially in an argument. But, sometimes it just feels like I have to bring it up with my husband. Dating Women From Russia: Important Tips The Marriage Agencies Never Tell You I want to share with you information that the Russian marriage agencies don't tell you on their web sites.Many of the dating agencies tout, how young Russian women are so family oriented and will make wonderful wives and family partners. Trust Starts with You "I have a hard time trusting people.""I never feel like I can trust my husband (or wife). When Groucho Marx Got It Right Groucho Marx was, I believe, a comic genius; a linguistic virtuoso, offbeat, wacky and insanely funny. He was also rude, abrasive and these days he'd qualify as verbally abusive. Relationship Advice: Starter Marriages A man walking through the woods near a river hears desperate screams for help. He runs to the river to see someone struggling as the river pulls him downstream. Conflicts Dont Have to Mean a Fight to the Death Although conflict in marriage is inevitable, fighting is optional.The secret is in how you approach and handle the conflict. How to Improve Relationships with Feng Shui Remedies In order to improve relationships, many people have increasingly turned to Feng Shui remedies hoping to find a solution for their woes.The Feng Shui used in this article is the Eight Mansion (Pa-Kua) School under the Xuan Kong System. Relationship Advice - 5 Sure Fire Ways to Mess Things Up 1) Stay committed to your "right to be right."Argue for your point of view, making sure you never entertain the possibility that your partner may have a valid point of view. A Dream of the Perfect Partner Your dream is so beautiful and it is never to late to happen. What I would say is keep your dream close to your heart and visualise fully what it would feel like for your dream to come true and your perfect partner stepped into your life. Great Relationships: How to Solve Problems and Have Fun Too I recently came across this quote:"There is a time in the life of every problem when it is big enough to notice and small enough to solve."When problems come in our relationships they can bring a great deal of stress into our lives. Relationship Habits How many of you have ever been involved with a significant other who wanted you to do something you didn't want to do? I doubt that I'm the only one. By virtue of a significant other relationship, there will be times when our partners will want us to do things we don't necessarily want to do and conversely, there will be times when we will want our partners to do things they don't want to do. How Do We Know When A Relationship Has A Future? In many instances, we all are "gun shy" after a short-or long-term relationship, because being hurt or feeling bad is not anoption.This stinging feeling tends to guide us as we clamor forsomething new or fresh. Extended Family Relationships: Staying Friends with Former Lovers and Spouses Excerpt From The Relationship Handbook: How to Understand and Improve Every Relationship in Your Life by Kevin B. BurkIt's natural to want to maintain a relationship with our former romantic partners (assuming that the relationship ended on reasonably good terms, of course). Fight, Flight, or Loving Action Fight or flight - our automatic response to danger. When fear is present, adrenaline pours into our system to prepare us to fight or flee - from the tiger, the bear, the lava from the volcano?. Parasitic Relationship Something in my life is weighing heavily on my mind, and I don't talk to anyone about it. I married my husband when he was 21 and I was 20.
|
 |
 |
||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
|
|
|||||
| Pendle Writers .com © 2006 | |||||
