|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
Are You Relationship Ready?
So, you want to fall in love? You are certainly old enough and movingwell along your chosen career path. Many of your friends are either married or in committed relationships. You have grown weary of the singles scene and the solitary life. Therefore, you must be ready, right? Not necessarily. So what is relationship readiness anyway? Exactly what it says. You areadequately capable of handling the commitment and challenges that ahealthy, intimate relationship requires. How do you know if you are ready? What are the characteristics you needto have or acquire in order to be ready for true love? There are four primary areas that you should explore in order to assessyour present state of readiness. 1. Take an inventory of past traumas and related major issues. You should mentally review these and honestly look at how well you have already addressed and resolved them. As you work through each, ask yourself, "Is this impacting me negativelyin my present life." Also explore with yourself the possibility that theissue could become problematic once you have entered into an intimaterelationship. If you believe that there are things you have not yet adequately dealt with, you need to go to work on these. If you are unsure, then they bear closerexamination. Consider utilizing resources such as therapy or joining a support group. An example of such issues can include, but not be limited to;emotional, physical or sexual abuse in childhood, parents' divorce, lossof a parent or other loved one, or a past abusive or dysfunctional loverelationship. 2. How's your self-awareness and self-esteem? If you do not possess adequate self knowledge and a positive sense of self; an intimate relationship will be difficult or impossible to sustain. For instance, do you know yourself well enough to answer the following? Can you state your most deeply held values? Do you know what you can't live with or without in a relationship? Do you have a good grasp of your life goals? Do you know your own strengths and weaknesses? Now, do a quick assessment of your self-esteem. How do you see yourself? How do others see you? Remember you present different selves: at work with family with friends in gatherings with acquaintances If your answers tell you that you have difficulty accepting and likingyourself, or if others frequently respond negatively to you in yourinteractions with them, then this is an area you should begin work on.Self-love is at the foundation of all healthy relationships. 3. Are your past relationships really in the past? If we don't get adequate closure on painful experiences/issues frompast relationships, we are at risk of bringing them into present andfuture relationships in order to relive and resolve them. Therefore, it's important to know that you have dealt adequately withany significant hurt or loss and have learned from any dysfunctionaldynamics you may have contributed to. If you find yourself slipping into unhealthy patterns in your thoughts orBehaviors as they relate to others; stop, identify, and then deal withthat leftover issue. 4. Do you know what you want from a relationship? We enter into relationships for many different reasons and with many different expectations. Knowing what yours are will help you todetermine if this is the right relationship for you. Too often we "choose" someone using an unconscious level of thoughtas our primary input. It is there that we hold our deepest unmet needs,fears and desires. Unfortunately, there is often a chasm between ourconscious and unconscious selves that keeps this information"hidden" from our rational and thinking side. Therefore, it is very important to examine all of your feeling and needsregarding any future relationship. Honestly look at what you must haveand cannot live without. You must know what you want and need from a future partner in orderto choose the right one for you. Now, spend some time exploring these four important areas before youenter into a serious romantic relationship. By doing so, you will behelping to ensure that your new relationship will be a healthy andlasting one. Toni Coleman is a licensed therapist and relationship coach in private practice in McLean, Virginia. She specializes in working with singles that want to create lasting, intimate relationships. Toni has over 20 years of post-masters experience in relationship counseling and coaching with singles and couples. She is the founder and President of LifeChange Coaching and Consum-mate Relationship Coaching. She developed and teaches the Creating Lasting Relationships Training, a tele-workshop designed to help singles to define, implement and fulfill their life and relationship goals. She has also written numerous email classes for singles on all aspects of meeting, dating and relating. She is the author of the email newsletter, The Art of Intimacy, which goes out to thousands of subscribers monthly.http://www.consum-mate.com
MORE RESOURCES:
Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Relationship Advice: Safety, Intimacy, and Fun When people come in for marriage counseling, they bring their own expectations. Some people expect the therapist to say one spouse is wrong and the other right. The Secret Power of Romance and How It Can Work for You There are some men who will never understand the importance of romance. They may be lazy or don't feel like investing any of their time for something silly like romance. How to Spot a Cheater Is your man the cheating type? Here are some clues to help you find out if he is cheating. Please note that just because you feel your man is cheating, does not mean that he really is. The Tablet of Venus In the 17th century, divination devices called The Tablets of Fate were sold on the street by fortunetellers. These were square pieces of paper which had sixteen numbers written on them and the idea is that you would go home, close your eyes, spin the paper and point to a spot on the paper to get the answer to your question. You CAN Improve Your Relationship It seems as if creating successful relationships with our significant others and parenting children are two of the most difficult jobs we face and yet we get no formal training in either. It's as if people believe that we are born with an inherent ability to do these two things. Interview with Tigress Luv: How To Get Over A Breakup Recently I had the opportunity to interview my personal favorite ebook author, Tigress Luv. She is a relationship expert who is widely known for her internet community. Charisma, Love and Health This is an amazing story. It's about my friend Robert. Communication in Dating Does your dating relationship have good communication? Communication during dating is what will eventually make or break the dating relationship. If you can not talk or communicate with your loved one, how will they ever know what you expect from your dating relationship?Communication in dating is essential. Are all Men Unfaithful? "Men are all the same. Stop looking for Prince Charming, Dreamer!""We just can't commit to one person! I Loooove Women!""I can't help it! Women want me!""I almost went with this co-worker of mine years ago, and I feel some kind of regret today that I haven't done it?""Caroline, I have an active sex life with my girlfriend. Your Next Relationship - Heaven or Hell? We've all had relationships that we've looked back on and thought, "What was I thinking?'' Problem is, you weren't thinking. You based your decision strictly on chemistry and first impressions, and in the words of Elvis Presley, "That's when your heartaches begin. Great Relationship Advice: Declaration or Demonstration Q: Could you help us settle a growing conflict in our marriage? I always tell my wife I love her and would do anything in the world for her. That doesn't seem to do it for her. Relationship Conflict: Lock Horns or Lock Arms One of my favorite comic strips growing up was "The Lockhorns." Not so much because it particularly funny (although it was), but because it seemed like a great model for how not to do love relationships. Passion Drought: Turning the Fizzle Back Into Sizzle In Your Relationship; Part 1 IntroductionMany gay men in both short and long-term relationships report concern when the romance and passion in their partnerships decline or "dry up", leading them to question themselves and fear for the future of their relationships. An unfortunate consequence of this is that many men break up with their partners prematurely at this point, have affairs, or turn to some form of addiction to cope under the mistaken notion that something is defective or wrong in their relationships. The Spiritual Connection of True Romance In the springtime, with the flowers budding and the birds chirping as Mother Nature awakens from winter's sleep, the air is thick with pheromones. It's hard not to have romance on the brain. Calling Forth a Soulmate How do I draw a soulmate into my life? You don't. I've read plenty of books that tell you how to do it, but I don't believe for a minute that you can place your cosmic order and your perfect ideal twin soul is going to materialize just like that at your front door. If You Love Me If you love me, you will keep my commandments?In the love games we play, and in all aspects of human endeavors, maintaining positive relations with each other is a must, to live in harmony and peaceful coexistence with each other.The surest path to keeping good relations with our fellow humans is to know what their dos and don'ts are, and adhere strictly to the same. Assuming Personal Responsibility in Relationships Stephen Covey in 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families says that responsibility is really the " ability to choose our response." We don't have to respond to stimuli and triggers the same way we have always done. Walls Of Communication! Matters of the heart are a true mystery to all involved. In order tomake a commitment to a relationship, it takes strength and trust inanother. Common Relationship Problems The essential problem in any bad relationship is a breakdown in communication between the two partners. No matter what the issues are (money, infidelity, etc. Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes--Celebrity Romance Actors Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are having a hard time convincing people of their sudden hot and heavy romance. In a poll taken in New York City's Times Square, over 2/3 of the respondents believed that the Cruise and Holmes romance is a publicity stunt due to their upcoming movie releases (Cruise's War of the Worlds and Holmes' Batman Begins.
|
 |
 |
||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
|
|
|||||
| Pendle Writers .com © 2006 | |||||
